i have a confession. in the year since becoming a full time artist, i have become increasingly unhappy with making art. i thought i'd be different, one of those people who gets up smiling...making my coffee and heading straight to the studio. it wasn't as romantic as that. but have become more of a commercial artist than wanted. it took awhile to figure out exactly WHAT was making me unhappy. this past weekend, it all became clear after a heart to heart.
it's by shear luck that i've been able to explore this career for the last 3 years...owning a shop and being a full time artist were two of my dreams. being able to grow and learn as a small biz owner, meet so many wonderful people around the world (via the internet), and have the time to figure out likes and dislikes of it all has been a great experience. however, not having the store and just doing my art full time has been challenging emotionally (and financially to be quite honest). don't get me wrong, i LOVE making art...but the pressure of having to make a living at it has sucked the life out of me. i had to learn this on my own, and i'm glad i did.
i am switching gears. i've found myself in a position of possibly expanding my teaching experience with a Montessori school here in Austin. this is so thrilling, and a chance to try something else i've wanted to do. i'll know more in the next week or two. i feel drawn to this opportunity. it's a full time position, which will change my priorities and i think that is going to be a good thing for my art. it does mean, however, that i won't have as much inventory...however i believe the quality of my work will only get better.
the studio is STILL on the agenda...it's getting ready to be moved and i'm having a fundraiser to help offset costs of that. i still will be painting, but will be able to explore more techniques and new imagery without the pressure of having to sell the piece and hurrying up to finish it. i am still going to make some jewelry and pottery! i can't wait to spin some clay. i've been dying to do that for a long time now.
i can't tell you how much better i feel now...just having the stress of not having to make a living off my art is SOOO huge. i'm excited to learn more about teaching the Montessori method and helping toddlers learn. wish me luck!